When I get back online with her, she recommends that I get more sleep. She suggests that I eat more kiwi fruit because it contains natural triptophans, amino acids that can make one drowsy. Milk and Turkey also contain these useful little buggers, I remember, and I'm all like, "I'll make evening shakes by grinding all of them up in a blender to slurp down before hitting the sack." However, once I make this joke, memories of when our kids were infants come back to me in a rush and....I. am. so. ashamed.
|How you say, "No, freakin' no!"|
apart in age, yes, it was tough, thanks for asking) and were eating from little prepared jarred foods, we fed them the odd mixtures without question because....here it is....they had no verbal skills with which to argue about it. Then, as they grew, they slowly stuffed this "blended" food abuse down into the deepest recesses of their minds.
Anybody who knows babies knows that what goes into the mouth will
most likely make at least one reappearance, when the wily parent collects it from the cheeks, wrangles it back onto the spoon and shoves it back into little baby's mouth. Our son and daughter used to grimace and thrust out such delightful mixtures as "Apricots and Turkey," "Apple, Sweet Potato and Chicken," and, "Pear, Chicken and Carrots," and we would just *swipe* it back up off of their little faces and re-feed it to them, spit and all. I'm regretful when I think about it now but, we reasoned at the time, all of the ingredients were so nutritious, of course, it was good for them. They just couldn't tell yet because they were infants. It must have been pretty hideous. I know why they rebelled in their teens now. And, I don't blame them a bit. What were we thinking?
|No, it is NOT delicious, |
It is wrong.
Yeah, okay, just joshing but I'm not kidding about the horrific realization that I fed my children food combinations that nobody could get on board with, even if they were slathered with salt, butter, gravy or beer. It occurred to me that I might just plain spit up on someone who tried to force feed me a turkey, kiwi and milk combo, too. (I'd probably freakin' slug them while I'm at it because, like, what the HELL?!?) There would be a pureed nightmare all over the place and a 911 call would take place. No way in hell, people, no way in hell.
So, let this be a lesson to you new parents (or soon-to-be new parents) out there. Before you feed your child anything, ask yourself: "Self? Would you eat this?" Then, take the contents of that little jar (bananas works best), throw a little coconut into the mix, a shot of rum and a tiny little umbrella and slurp that puppy down! Then, give your child some human food, in tiny little separated portions. Namaste, little baby, Namaste.....