Monday, September 29, 2014

** Who's the BOSS??

Back from the vacation cruise to Belize, Isla Roatan and Cozumel, YAY!! It was a wonderful trip despite the fact that I found out that I **may** now be allergic to lobster  and I am never gonna be able to scuba, snooba or successfully ride a BOSS underwater scooter. I won't be able to see live, fresh fishies in their natural environment several feet down because, when I put something over my face and start to submerge, something in my head screams, "WTF are you DOING putting a big metal bulb on your head under the surface of the water??!!!?? You're gonna DIE, you're gonna go DOWN and you're gonna DROWN!!! GET THE HELL BACK TO THE SURFACE NOW, YOU #*@!% MORON!!!!" 

And....that's the end of the Honduras Island Boss Underwater Adventure for me. (*Cha-ching!* That'll be $120, please!!) 


Jeff has footage of me in non-panic mode for the first 15 seconds and switches the filming off right as I'm about to have my meltdown, lol, right when I'm saying, "Fine, okay, I'm fine, Mr. scuba guy, I'm fine, fine, just fine, okay, okay, okay...." (*thumbs up sign*) 4, 3, 2, 1....
"Um, no, on second thought, I'm NOT fine....Um, NOT FINE!!?! (*frantic "so-so" hand movements begin*) CAN YOU SEE MY HAND WIGGLING IN THE DISTRESS SIGNAL?? OMG, NO, YOU CAN'T!!! NOT FINE!!! I'M NOT FINE AND NOW I'M GONNA GET MY SWIMSUIT STUCK ON THIS THING TRYING TO GET OUT and I'm gonna DIE! OH, CRAP, OH, CRAP!! NOT FINE!! HOW DO I GET OUT???!! Look at my hand wiggle?!!! OMG, OMG, OMG!! LOOK AT MY HAND WIGGLE!!!" 
Funny how your rational mind can know, absolutely KNOW, that you aren't in danger and your lizard brain sez, "Oh, HELLLL, no, honey child, you are NOT gonna do that today!!"  Apparently, I am NOT the BOSS of my own life, as I formerly believed.  The incident has bemused me since it happened and I don't know if I ever want to challenge the lizard brain again.  (She's kinda tough and wears army boots....)

Needless to say, I got out alive, though they all tried hard to kill me. And, I went on to have a wonderful vacay full of endless chocolate martinis. (Cue "The Love Boat" theme song, here.) It's good to be back..... 


Jeff and friends, riding death-scooters...
with tiny little shrunken heads....